brilliantbrown

You knew it was only a matter of time before this came up. Today, we talk about a subject that is sure to ruffle a few feathers. I’m beginning the first of two or three articles discussing interracial dating.

I’ve dated women of a variety of races (black, white, asian, middle eastern, etc… I don’t really keep score like that) and I’ve come to one conclusion, they’re all crazy. I’m kidding ladies, I’m kidding! The actual conclusion that I’ve come to is that being proud of my heritage (black pride) and interracial relations are not mutually exclusive concepts. But I’ve also come to the conclusion that an issue with interracial dating belies a larger issue beneath the surface.

Why does this need discussing?

Interracial dating is one of those things that everyone says they’re cool with, but many people actually aren’t. It’s the politically correct thing for us (especially as Americans) to talk the big talk about tearing down racial boundaries and coming together as a unified people. But let a brother stroll up in a black club with a white girl and eyes go to rolling, folks get to whispering and disapproving glances are thrown… and that’s on a good day.

The primary reason this bears discussion is that our feeling about interracial dating are often pretty accurate indicators of how we feel about interracial relations on a much larger scale. I’m primarily discussing black-white couples, because that seems to be the biggest divide in modern America, but the points I make can be applied pretty easily to any combination of races.

That Negro thinks he’s too good!

Sticking with the previous example, when a sister sees a black man with a white woman, often (but not always) the first thing they assume is that the brother thinks he’s too good for a black woman. This sentiment is way too prevalent in black community. The assumption manifests most often as a black man gets a measure of success and “upgrades” to a white girl. Sometimes this is true, more often it’s not.

The part of this type of assumption that bothers me the most is the assumption that many black women make that a white woman is actually an upgrade in the first place! I don’t know who went around telling people that white was better, but it’s not. A white woman is no better and no worse than a black woman all other things being equal. A white woman is just as crazy as a black woman or a hispanic woman. It’s just a slightly different, culturally-specific kind of craziness.

Our issues with interracial dating…

I’m just bringing a little humor to an otherwise serious topic, but the issue at hand is that there is a problem with the collective self-esteem of the black community. (I know, I’ve dealt with it first hand, but I digress.) This isn’t a phenomenon that is restricted to black women, because I know for a fact that many black men I know feel the same way when they see a black woman with a white dude.

We need to understand and recognize that black is beautiful and that we have no reason to feel inferior. We have proven time and time again that we are the equals of our contempories of other races. It’s time to drop the chip off of our collective shoulder and start practicing what we preach. Every year we listen to King’s “I Have A Dream”, yet every year we as a nation have become more and more racially disjointed.

I think that if as a collective black people, we had a higher self-esteem and cured some of the insecurities that we have when comparing ourselves to our counterparts of other ethnicities then there wouldn’t really be such an issue.

Let’s not miss the point here…

That’s not to say that we should all go and run out and start dating outside of our race just because we’re being tolerant. That’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that we should most certainly be more tolerant of other people’s choices and that we should be cognizant of how we feel about race relations and what that says about how we feel about ourselves.

A problem with an interracial couple is indicative, in my opinion, of a problem with race relations on the larger scale. So if you catch yourself rolling your eyes at a mixed couple in the club, keep that in mind.

Next Article: Black Pride and White Women